Pancake Day for Agnes

Agnes my dear, when ya gets the clothes out on the line come over till' I tells ya the latest scandal! WELL, Cecil's wife Marie was down to the post office there this morning,and wearin' that big Jesus fur coat what was sent up from New York there last summer, you knows now that never came out of the barrel! Anyway girl she was telling' me right proud then about what young Tish bit into in the pancake this morning, and wouldn't ya know now 'twas a key to the brand new car! Money rainin' off the trees over there! Then again, you can be sure now dat' was bought outta' the old woman's money! Sure Cecil was all she had, you knows he got the works when she passed on, God rest her soul. She did more prayin' the day she was born than that Marie done in a lifetime! Anyway,  one of them Smart cars they calls em', das' what she got! Well, what in the name of the good lord and savior is smart about that!? The wheels on it sure they're no bigger now than what comes on the youngsters pedal bikes! "Made for two" is what they writes on the back of it. Two! Can you imagine now if we had to pile the 18 of our crowd in that now to go over the road for a few groceries? My dear Agnes, they're just not practical a'tall these days! Then again with all that money they got to burn, I hope they knows now they can't buy themselves into the good lord's kingdom when they goes, no the good lord only see's prayers and devotion now, and not the dollar sign! Sure remember now on pancake day when we were young how delighted we'd be from findin' an ol' penny now or granmudder's ring (and sure we had to give that back!) so they could say we'd end up married or rich? Well I'll tell ya one thing, that Cecil and Marie must have swallowed some mouthful of coppers in their day to have the money they got over there now! Anyway Agnes girl tis' all pure gluttney now das' all it is, somethin' for to make me have to put off me cuppa' tea to go sayin' a litney of rosaries and prayers here this morning. I dear say a pancake will never cross me lips this day! And honest to God how much do I love a nice pancake wit' a bitta molasses over the top of it, oh the taste! But that's it Agnes girl, when you're tryin' to stop half what's around from burnin' in an eternity of damnation! Sometimes I thinks tis' only me and fadder Lundrigan that cares where everyone ends up to! Are they all ever goin' t' give up this sinnin' racket so I can enjoy me last few life's pleasures before the holy father himself calls me home? Sure when St.Peter meets me at the gates girl I'll be dat' Jesus tired I won't be able to answer not the one of his questions for me! Oh my, oh my I feels right overcome with all the worry girl, spose I goes in now and gets on me knees and prays for the likes of that Marie and Cecil, and oh Christ yes for young Tish too because as sure as there's capelin on the beaches in June, there'll be nothing smart about what'll happen to her  if a gale of wind blows over the barrons now when she's goin' across em' in that boot box! I'll be talkin' to ya after Agnes girl, the work of the heavenly father sure tis' never done.